Grammar 101: How to Use Who and Whom Correctly

Many English learners — and even native speakers — often struggle with when to use who and when to use whom. But don’t worry — once you understand a few simple rules, you’ll be using them confidently in no time! In this guide, we’ll break it all down with clear explanations, useful examples, a fun quiz, and answers to common questions.

What’s the Difference Between Who and Whom?

The key difference comes down to how these words function in a sentence:

• Who is a subject pronoun (like he, she, or they) — it performs the action.
• Whom is an object pronoun (like him, her, or them) — it receives the action.

Example:

Who called you? (He/She called you.)
You met whom at the party? (You met him/her.)

Use who when referring to the subject of a sentence (the person doing something).
Use whom when referring to the object of a verb or a preposition (the person receiving the action).

The “He/She vs Him/Her” Test

When unsure, replace who/whom with he/she or him/her and see what sounds correct:
If he or she fits, use who.
If him or her fits, use whom.

Situations Where You Must Use Whom

There’s one case where you should always use whom — after a preposition (such as to, with, for, about):
To whom should I send this letter?
The person with whom I spoke was very helpful.

Examples of Who vs Whom

Correct use of Who:

This is who warned me. (He/She warned me — subject)
Jack is the one who wants to travel. (He/She wants to travel — subject)
I wonder who made that decision. (He/She made it — subject)
I know who your friend is. (He/She is your friend — subject)

Correct use of Whom:

With whom am I speaking? (I am speaking with him/her — object)
To whom it may concern. (This concerns him/her — object)
We invited several guests, one of whom is a famous chef. (One of them — object)
She didn’t know much about the man with whom she was working. (She was working with him — object)

Quiz: Who or Whom?

Choose the correct word in each sentence:

1. Who/Whom is paying for dinner?
2. He saw a man who/whom he thought was the manager.
3. She spoke to a client who/whom she admired.
4. Who/Whom wants to volunteer?
5. This is the friend who/whom I told you about.
6. To who/whom were you speaking just now?
7. That’s the actor who/whom starred in the movie.
8. I met a writer with who/whom I collaborated last year.

The Advanced Who vs Whom

Sometimes, sentences can get tricky — especially when clauses are involved. Let’s look at this example:

A group of friends went out, one of whom was celebrating a birthday.

Why whom?

• The phrase “one of whom” is an object — the birthday boy was one of them.
• If you said “one of who,” it would sound wrong, because “one of he” or “one of she” doesn’t work.

Quiz Answers

1. Who
2. Whom
3. Whom
4. Who
5. Whom
6. Whom
7. Who
8. Whom

FAQ: Who vs Whom

Q1: Is it wrong to use who instead of whom in casual speech?
A: In everyday conversation, native speakers often use who even when whom is technically correct — especially at the beginning of a sentence. However, in writing (especially for formal or academic contexts like IELTS essays), using whom correctly will make your grammar stand out.

Q2: Is whom becoming old-fashioned?
A: Not exactly — it’s still correct and useful in formal writing and when following a preposition (to whom, with whom). In casual speech, who is more common, but for exams or professional settings, knowing how to use whom is still important.

Q3: How can I quickly tell if I need whom in a sentence?
A: Do the simple he/she vs him/her test! If him/her fits, use whom. If he/she fits, use who.

Q4: Why is this important for IELTS?
A: Correct grammar, especially with tricky words like who and whom, helps boost your IELTS Writing and Speaking scores. It shows strong command of complex sentence structures and formal grammar.

Q5: Are there exceptions to these rules?
A: The biggest “exception” is that in casual spoken English, whom is often skipped — but for formal writing (academic essays, IELTS, emails, business), always follow the rules we’ve shown you!